Monday, October 20, 2008

Advice on Compost Tumbers

A friend asked me what compost tumbler they should buy. Yes, the tumblers. I looked at these for years and it was almost the choice I made for myself.


Let's proceed.

The one i kept coming back to was the 'Compost Tumbler,' this bad boy, right here.

Reasons?
1. You can get a double one. Capacity is king with tumblers and you will be astonished how little capacity you have, even though the thing looks huge. If you get it, just get the double one. Honest. Get the double.

2. It has a crank. I've also seen a solar or electrical unit that just slowly rotates the thing all the time, but i can't remember where to get it - that would be most excellent to add on.

I've tried the 'roll around' and 'flip with your foot,' 'easy compostin', 'brought to you by the producers of hee-haw' bullshit tumblers. If you enjoy punishing yourself, feeling frustration, and the smell of anaerobic bacteria in the morning - the 'roll-arounds' are the tumblers for you. They're such an olympicly awful pain to roll around, you won't get much tumbling done.

3. The thing looks like the sturdiest one to me. I have no actual knowledge of ever seeing one, it's a gut reaction based solely on looks. Oh, and they'll get you tons of hot chicks if you buy one. That's a lie.


Now.

Forget for a moment that you're going to load mountains of yard waste into something above your waistline, through little doors in the side (yup, there are other roller ones that don't, but this was the one i would have chosen, even knowing the pain of loading it, so it is what it is); that's not insurmountable, and can be part of a balanced fitness program.

What i want to clearly impress upon you is a word of caution about any composter in the tumbler format or any closed plastic format: stuff gets so hot in these, that they turn into a thick muck quickly. If yer not tumblin' with regularity, you will essentially have a big cylindrical colon full of wet, thick, tar-like shit soon. And constipation sets in fast. You will be forced to perform the most giant high-colonic you can summon in your imagination if this occurs. Yum.

Hope that helps and happy rotting!
James